Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

So far away, I'm gone.
Please don't follow me tonight
And while I'm gone everything will be alright

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

~ Avenged Sevenfold - I Won’t See You Tonight ~

Dean had made a deal. He had made it to save Sam. His Sammy. His brother and lover. His heart and soul; his everything. For him there hadn’t been any other choice and he didn’t regret any of it. He was just happy to see Sammy’s smile again, feel his touch and listen to his voice. It was all worth the pain. Pain. Dean knew that was, what was waiting for him in hell.

*****

When they approached the Impala after the Yellow Eyed Demon was dead, Dean could feel Sam’s eyes on him. Contemplating him. Dean was pretty sure Sam had figured out what he had done. About the deal he had made. Oh and Sam was so furious.

“How long did you get Dean? How long did she give you?”

“Sam…”

“Answer me, Dean.”

“A year. One year.”

“Oh God Dean.”

Dean couldn’t look him in the eye. He knew what he would possibly see there. The anger, the hurt, the love and the sadness. It could be already heard in Sam’s voice and it would break Dean, if he had to see it.

Dean looked at his feet before lifting his gaze up on Sam’s chest. It was rising and sinking with Sam’s breath; telling Dean that Sam was alive and that was what mattered. At least to Dean.

“Please Sam. Can we let it drop for tonight? Please. I just want to celebrate our little victory. Please… baby.”

Dean was begging and they both knew that it took a lot to bring him down on such a low level.

“Yeah Dean. We can do that, but only for tonight. We need to talk about this.”

Sam’s voice was softer, less hurt, but there was also a subtle sadness in it. Dean imagined how it would have sounded, if Sam had known the truth. All of it.

*****

24 hours was all Dean had got. Not a year, just a day and he had only 5 hours left, but Sam didn’t need to know that. It was best this way.

*****

They said their goodbye to Bobby and Ellen before climbing into the Impala and taking off to the closest motel. Their last night together and Dean wanted to spend it with Sam. In bed. Kissing, touching and just memorizing Sam’s body. It certainly was the only thing that would keep Dean sane when it was time for him to make his way to hell.

They were both exhausted after the battle and their intense love-making. Dean couldn’t sleep, but Sam had dropped off to dreamland not long after his climax. That had been three hours ago. Dean watched Sam in his sleep and he chuckled as Sam let out a soft snore. Two hours to go and he was glad that Sam was sleeping since it gave him time to think and to make sure that everything was right for the future. Sam’s future. Sam was going to go back to college, marry a nice girl and have kids. Have his normal. A life he deserved and a life Dean could have never offered.

Dean felt his eyes watering, but he didn’t shed tears. He had no time for that. He had to be strong. If he showed any weakness at all, his plans would be worth nothing and Sam would know what he had done.

Dean stood under the shower, washing away the dirt from the graveyard and enjoying his last shower. They hadn’t had time to shower when they got into the motel earlier. It was a miracle that they had got in their room before nearly jumping each other’s bones. Dean also doubted that there would be any opportunity to take a shower in his hazy future. If there was any future in hell. He really doubted that.

Sighing a little, Dean began to wash his hair but stopped immediately when he heard a long howl echoing in the bathroom. Dean shivered and that howl made his flesh creep. Fear ran down his back, making his knees go weak. Soon, he found himself on the cold tiles on the floor, whimpering and trying to be as small as possible.

The howling stopped as suddenly as it had started, and Dean took a deep breath to calm his ragged breathing and racing heart. The shower had turned cold but Dean couldn’t make himself get out of it, so he just sat there and shivered, hoping for more time. God, how he wished for more time. Finally, under the cold spray and the safety the falling water gave him,

Dean burst into tears.

Dean wore one of Sam’s favorite shirts under his leather jacket. It smelled like Sam. And he left his necklace on the table; for protection and as a memory.

Dean laced his boots and stood up to take a final look around. His eyes landed on Sam who was still peacefully asleep. The howling was a constant sound now and it was frightening. He was so glad that he was the only one who could hear it.

Dean bent over Sam - watching him - for minutes before he sighed and leaned down to kiss Sam.

”I will always love you little brother. Be good…”

Dean stepped back and left the room with a new wave of tears falling down his cheeks.

Dean went past the Impala and continued walking down the road. There was an abandoned warehouse at the end where he would wait for his destiny. The hellhound would find him anywhere. It was only minutes before they would come to get him and he was ready. Sam was safe and would be until the day he was old and gray with a beautiful wife on his. It was all Dean had to offer.

The howl came close and Dean tried not to think about Sam because that would only bring the tears back and he didn’t want to show any weakness in front of those creatures.

Dean drank in the cool night air but soon it was full of the smell of sulphur. So it’s here, was Dean’s last thought before all he could think and feel was a never ending pain.

He was screaming Sam’s name but he didn’t care. It was the last sound that escaped Dean’s throat and after that there was only black and that sulphur smell.

*****

”Sam!!!”

It wasn’t his name that woke him. It was the voice that screamed it. Sam bounced out of bed, looking around, trying to find Dean. Dean had been screaming for him, but where was he? Then he heard it again. His name, coming from outside. Quickly, Sam ran out of the room and down the road following the sound of Dean’s voice. He was only in his boxers but he couldn’t care less. He just needed to get to Dean.

When Sam got closer he could hear another voice accompanying Dean’s. It was a faint growling and that was when Sam understood what was going on. Dean had lied to him.

It was too late for Sam to do anything because when he arrived at the scene it was already quiet. Only Dean’s body was there on the cold ground, unmoving. Not a single breath was escaping Dean’s lungs. All Sam could do was watch, frozen in place. He didn’t even notice the tears falling down his cheeks or the unusually cold wind. He just focused on Dean’s dead body. No…

”DEAN!!!”

*****

”Shhhh… Sam, baby, wake up. It’s only a dream. Come on Sammy… Shh..”

”Dean? Oh my god, Dean!!”

”Sammy… Shhh.. Don’t cry baby.”

”You were dead… It was the deal…. And you got only a day… And, and they came to you when I was sleeping…”

”Hey, it’s okay Sammy. I’m here and I’m safe. You saved me remember? Shhh, stop crying baby. Please, Sam.”

”Dean…”

”It’s okay. Just calm down and try to go back to sleep. I’m here, okay?”

”Yeah okay… I love you, Dean.”

”Love you too, baby brother.”